During last night's home run derby, Rick Reilly offered up this nonsequitorian analysis of Josh Hamilton's record-breaking 28 home runs in the first round:

It's a lousy night to be an atheist!

I don't get it. When the Pope was at Yankee Stadium, did he announce, "Unless someone hits at least 25 home runs in a single round of the State Farm Home Run Derby to be held in this stadium later this year, I will consider it a clear indication that there is no god and will disband the Catholic Church and urge all other religions to do likewise? Is Reilly mistakenly under the impression that atheism is not a lack of belief in god, but rather a lack of belief that heroin users can rehabilitate themselves, get reinstated to professional baseball, and hit a lot of home runs on a national stage? Was Reilly implying that Josh Hamilton is a deity whose existence atheists can't deny?

Or maybe Reilly is just an overrated hack who hasn't offered any decent sports analysis for more than a decade, but is so in love with his own voice he can't be bothered to stop and think about whether his words actually make any sense before he opens his stupid, stupid mouth.

Given that he's on ESPN, I'm going to go with that final option. (My kingdom for a Charlie Steiner!)